Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
