so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
