Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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