I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
