i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
