dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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