What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
