does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why are your pants in the freezer?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
