i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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