hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
