remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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