So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
