erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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