OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
