dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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