coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
