Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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