So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
