I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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