She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
