I just made out with a guy for $7.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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