My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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