Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Randomize
