I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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