I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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