I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
