grandma shit on top of the toilet
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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