i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
