I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
