life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
