Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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