i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
