8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
