so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
