no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
