He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
