32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
