We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
