i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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