HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
