porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
