just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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