I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
