She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
