This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
