there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
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