I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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