all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
