do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
