If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
