think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
