Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
