If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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