I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
